July 9 Recap

SANTA CLARA, 4/20/08: Nobody can blame Rob Flores and many of the Miscreants for not wanting to fudge with a successful formula in Game 3 of this series---that is, closing right field. Problem was, they had 11 men show up. Well, since the Huevos had 12 men of their own, what's the problem, right? Why are we even discussing this silly issue? 10 or more vs. 10 or more is automatic full field.

LOS HUEVOS RANCHEROS

MISCREANTS

Bryan Bush

Brian Simas

Torance Matsui

Norberto Yanez

Dave Wagner

Joel Stauffer

Greg Sacramento

Soonam Chowdhury

Dave Del Real

Greg Lynas

Ruben Gonzalez

Cav Manning

Leland Yow

Rob Flores

Ed DaRosa

John Cocoles

Kevin Kuzmiak

Kevin Holley

Greg Minor

Tito Bernal

Skillz Davis

Stoph Andraesen

Alvin Trinh

DaRosa, still nursing a back/side injury from two weeks ago, and Bernal, dealing with a tweaked knee suffered last week, were healthy enough to strap on the batting gloves, but not the fielding gloves. That still left the Miscreants with 9 healthy bodies to play full field---which the team wasn't sold on doing after posting its' lone victory on April 13 on a half-field (in which they had only 9 men).

Before the game, an intense---but civil---argument broke out in the home dugout once the 12-deep Huevos heard their opponents' argument for circumventing the mandatory full-field rule. After a lengthy back-and-forth between Flores and Bush, who failed to see how the two injured Miscreants were healthy enough to run, but not at least catch, Miscreant captain Holley finally decided to go ahead and open the field.

At first, it seemed BAB was in store for another close, competitive contest. A 2-run single by Matsui helped Huevos to a 4-run 1st, matched by Miscreants who put together a 4-spot of their own, 3 on back-to-back triples by the two Kevins and all after a slick 4-6-3 double play turned by Yanez, Bush and Stauffer (respectively) on Flores.

Manning smacked a 2-run homer for the Huevos in the 2nd. In the 3rd, with two on, Del Real did something he hadn't done since 2004---he too hit one over the fence! The two blasts, mixed in with several other RBI hits and coupled with a now-cold Miscreant offense, set the stage for a 14-5 Huevo lead after 4 innings.

Now holding all the momentum, the Huevos would basically ice this game in a strange 5th inning, and Holley himself may have helped their cause. With 2 on and 2 out, Manning---looking more and more like the 2-time MVP with each passing week---dug in and crunched one down the line. It was well out of the park, but was it fair or foul? 3B Kuzmiak signaled foul immediately, while C Davis and LF Andraesen could not tell for sure, especially without the new foul pole attached. Ultimately, Cav's 3-run homer would stand.

After Kuzmiak air-mailed what would have been the 3rd out on a Bush grounder, he fired his glove into the picnic area and demanded a sub, who turned out to be Holley.

Simas stepped up, and fouled the 2nd pitch all the way down Greenwood Avenue---a pretty difficult feat.

Things got weirder when he grounded the 4th pitch foul down the 3B line, where Holley fielded it and tossed it in towards the backstop...but way too close to Simas who was still in the box! Only a Davis warning prevented Simas from possibly taking the toss squarely in the face; it clipped his arm instead. Visibly perturbed, the league batting leader channeled his displeasure and blasted a no-doubter over the Blue Monster, his first home run of 2008! That gave the Huevos a 19-5 advantage.

The Miscreants did rally for 3 in the bottom of the 5th, a rally shortened when a seriously gimpy Bernal---not exactly a speedster even when healthy---grounded into a twin killing. After holding the Huevos scoreless in the 6th, the pendulum began to sway towards Holley's club. That is, until Matsui brought back what would have been a Andraesen home run with a terrific snare at the fence!

Fast forward to the bottom of the 9th: by that time Manning had completed the cycle and driven in 9 runs for the Huevos, who held a commanding 25-9 lead. Having far too late grasped the urgency, the Miscreants finally mounted an offensive attack. Cocoles drilled one to right field that Gonzalez struggled with, to say the least, and Johnny 5 ended up with a 3-run inside-the-park homer! 4 hitters later, Bernal crushed a 2-run homer over the Monster to cut it to 25-14. Even Davis, who was sitting on an oh-fer, managed to get a knock! When Trinh laced a knuckling liner to RCF that the sure-handed Del Real couldn't play cleanly that led to two more scores, the Miscreants dared to dream.

There would be no miracle on De La Cruz Blvd. this day, though, as Yow would soon be retired to end the game, and a series that was---for the first 3 games---one of the most competitive and thrilling ever played in BAD ASS Baseball. It was definitely the topper as far as participation. Gonzalez' relaxed style proved to be effective; he stayed out of the way and did practically no tinkering with his lineup or his defense, and in the end it paid off.

Holley assembled a very talented Miscreant roster in his own right, that just could never put it together on both sides of the ball for any extended time. Poor defense killed them in the first two games, and they hit well enough to win both. Just as the gloves came together in Game 4, they forgot how to score. The Miscreants will wonder, just what could have been if they had a healthy DaRosa and Bernal for all 4 games, and if Davis hadn't suddenly gone ice-cold at the plate.

"Good hustle, Ed." -- Yow, to DaRosa, after Yow scored while pinch-running for DaRosa in the 1st.

Driving in 9 of the 25 Huevo runs while going 5-for-5 and hitting for the cycle made Manning the easy winner of BAD ASS of the Day. Matsui's fence theft earned him Gold Glove, shared with OF Del Real (who sucked in 3 consecutive Miscreant line drives in the 2nd)and 3B Lynas. Once again, no Small Penis was named, although it took the late 9th inning rally and Bernal's homer to save Davis from an oh-fer; he singled in his last AB.

The Miscreants' DaRosa singled in all 5 AB's, though some of those would have been doubles if the former MVP wasn't restricted to jogging by his side injury. Immediately following Andraesen's lost homer, Trinh followed up with a solo blast to the same general area. 3B Kuzmiak, in the fateful 5th inning, made an amazing diving catch to steal extra bases from Del Real only moments before Manning's questionable 3-run homer.

"He looked like a dolphin." -- Andraesen, describing Gonzalez' getting a little tangled in the fence while attempting to field what turned out to be an ITPHR for Cocoles in the 9th.

After Sacramento, Wagner, Del Real, Yow, Holley and Trinh departed, BAB took a little break then gathered in CF to discuss the next series captains. Flores asked if anybody specifically wanted to be captain, and got no response. Next, it was asked if the league should handpick two skippers, or draw from a hat. Ultimately names of players who'd been captain one or fewer times were drawn from a hat, and the two chosen were...

...Cocoles and Wagner! The matchup was praised by the masses, and both John and Dave (who was reached by phone) seemed excited to get started. Wagner will be the first rookie to lead a series since 2004, when Eric Valdez led "Abe's Army"...to a 4-0 series loss to which he failed to show for even one inning. That is the reason why, with the exception of Matsui later that year, rookies haven't been allowed to lead a series since.

But rules were meant to be broken, and Wagner has not missed a Sunday out of 9 since joining BAB after the ABA/Scrubs series. He's not expected to start now.

During the gathering, it was announced---prematurely---that Patrick Swayze lost his battle with cancer. BAB paid its respects by joining in a chorus of "She's Like the Wind" to commemorate the actor/singer, who was later revealed to not be dead.

Minor would depart after the series discussion, and BAB continued its' theme of innovative exhibitions. Following Longest-Tenured vs. Shortest Tenured, and Over 30 vs. Under 30, came Whites vs. Minorities. Goodson Field instantly became a haven of racial taunts, insults and Nazi salutes---all in good fun.

MINORITIES

HITLER YOUTH

Brian Simas

Norberto Yanez

Torance Matsui

Ed DaRosa

Ruben Gonzalez

Soonam Chowdhury

Rob Flores

Tito Bernal

Skillz Davis

John Cocoles

Bryan Bush

Cav Manning

Kevin Kuzmiak

Joel Stauffer

Stoph Andraesen

Greg Lynas

RBI knocks by Matsui, Gonzalez and Chowdhury put the Minorities ahead 4-1 after one inning. But in the bottom of the 2nd Hitler Youth (HY) struck back with an 8-spot as Bush doubled home a pair and Cocoles, for the first time in 2008, flashed a little white power with a man on to become the 3rd player to qualify for the Home Run Derby today.

The two clubs exchanged 3rd-inning 5-spots, including a scary play when Minority CF Simas broke through the fence while chasing down a deep Bush drive; he came down hard and didn't get up right away. It looked so bad until LF Matsui didn't even bother to look back at the field after picking up the ball; his and all other eyes were on Simas, who DID get up limping. He fell knee-first on a stake as he went down, but shook the injury off and stayed in. Bush's ended up with a 3-run ITPHR, but nobody cared so long as Simas was fine.

The Minorities continued to take it to HY with the bats; DaRosa---feeling well enough to handle 1B in the exhibition game---cracked a 2-run homer in the 4th, after which inning HY trailed 16-15. Another tight exhibition affair!

As this game slowly dragged on, both teams hit a wall offensively, although Bush---easily the best HY player today---doubled home the tying run with 2 down in the 6th! HY held the M's scoreless for the third straight inning in the 7th, then quickly ended it on a Stauffer walkoff hit to center.

"If we're losing in the 9th, we should call La Migra (Immigration)." -- Andraesen, of Hitler Youth; Flores liked that one so much he ordered it be used in the recap.

BAD ASS of the Day and Gold Glove went to Bush, who went 7-for-7 with 6 of the 17 HY runs batted in. He also took advantage of lousy Minority running in the 2nd: "DaRosa" was on third and Gonzalez was on 2nd when Chowdhury grounded to third. "DaRosa" got hung up in a pickle between 3rd and home as Gonzalez stayed put. Bush eventually tagged out "Ed" as Chowdhury foolishly ran to 2nd, where Gonzalez was still firmly planted! Bush chased a retreating Soonam down all the way from the 3B area, and tagged him out near 1B for a double play.

Stauffer shared BAD ASS of the Day for his walkoff knock. No Small Penis was named.

Cocoles and Kuzmiak drove in 3 runs each to help HY, while Gonzalez put together a 6-for-6, 4 RBI performance for the Minorities. Save for one play which will be listed below, DaRosa played a clean 1B and FORCED himself, pain and all, to beat out a double-play ball in the 7th as his club tried desperately to take a lead.

"C'mon, dude! I'm out here running through fences!" -- Simas, to DaRosa, after the latter completely sneezed at a Stauffer grounder to first in the 3rd.