Matsui and company crush Scrubs

Injury is Scrubs' biggest highlight

SANTA CLARA -- After a long four months off, the time ticking down to the 2006 BAD ASS Baseball season expired which meant that it was indeed, time to “Play Ball”.

On a sunny, breezy day at Santa Clara High School, nineteen BAB stars gathered to commence the annual “All BAD ASS vs. Scrubs” best-of-seven series. Traditionally, the ABA team, regardless of who they are, have pounded the Scrubs. But once the ABA team was announced this past October, it was clear right away the 2006 series would not be a “rape”. Many Scrubs on this year’s team have been ABA in the past, including but not limited to Greg Lynas, Ed DaRosa, Leland Yow, and Greg Sacramento. 

Immediately, rather than bemoan their omission to the ABA team, the Scrubs decided to take the opportunity to make history (by defeating the ABA’s) and run with it. However, the All BAD ASS team is All BAD ASS for a reason, and it showed on Sunday Feb 5.

In the top of the 1st, the Scrubs put together three hits, but failed to score as ABA turned a DP and got Brandon Hamilton in a rundown when he inexplicably dashed for home from 2nd on a single to buck short. Cav Manning’s puss-hit double helped ABA take a 3-0 lead…

…that was soon erased the next inning on Sac’s inside-the-park three-run HR, a HR aided by a teammate’s skull. Soonam Chowdhury, while racing home, took a relay throw right to the back of his dome! While the league checked on their fallen comrade immediately, Sac alertly raced around the bases first. After asking Chowdhury questions such as “Where are you right now?” and “Who’s the President?” the league deduced he probably didn’t know those answers even before he was hit, and concluded he was OK. Chowdhury took his AB’s but didn’t play in the field from then on.

So, despite not playing their best ball, the Scrubs led 4-3. It would be their only lead of the day.

In the bottom of the 2nd, ABA put up nine runs, the final two on an RBI single by Rob Flores who was thrown out trying to stretch it—but not before the last runner got in. Nick Collins’ 3-run ITPHR in the 3rd (made possible when both BS B-Rid and OF Torance Matsui overran the hard grounder) would be the last big score for a while.

Over the next few innings, constant weak popups killed any chances of the Scrubs rallying while the Stars churned out liner after liner—or, in Manning’s case, puss-hits—en route to a long, 12-run 6th that put the game out of reach. The Scrubs had three separate chances in a row for the third out but failed to make the plays on D.

Finally, the Scrub team showed signs of life on offense in the 8th when, following an RBI single by DaRosa, Nick E. cracked a three-run HR, but it was too little, too late—ABA won in a wash, 36-17, leaving the Scrubs to hope the lopsided defeat was the result of rust, and not rape.

GAME NOTES:

• With his kids watching from the dugout, ABA C Al Padron led off the third with a long blast to RF for the first HR of the 2006 season—and the 2nd HR of his BAD ASS career.

• BAD ASS of the Day went to the ABA Matsui, who drove in nine runs. Small Penis Award went to the Scrubs’ Rick Flores, who went 0-for-4.

• Cav Manning went 8 for 10 (.800) to begin his much publicized quest to bat .800.

• Last year’s batting champ, B-Rid, went 9 for 10.

• Coming off a miserable 2005 season at the plate, Sac went an encouraging 4-for-4.

• Though there were several muffs, there were several solid plays on D by the Scrubs, including Lynas’ 5-3 DP and Nick E. gunning out Rob Flores from BS in the 5th, Collins doing the same to Matsui at home in the 6th, and several runners being thrown out at various bases. I estimate 8 of the 24 All-Star outs came via K or on the bases…

• Said K was courtesy of Stars’ OF Greg Minor, who was the first to fall victim to the new 6-pitch limit. On his 6th pitch Minor hit a foul pop behind the plate that Scrub C Skillz could have easily snared—he deliberately let it fall foul to give Minor the strikeout. Scrub OF Dave Del Real came down to pitch #6 in the 3rd…and singled.

• Manning also turned a rally killing 5-3 double play, with two on and no outs.

• ABA was minus Alvin Trinh, while some missing Scrubs included Joel Stauffer, CT, Jason LaRose and Steven Rebetrano. JD

* Players of the Week *

BAD ASS of the Day

Torance Matsui, ABA

9 RBI

Gold Glove

None

Small Penis

Rick Flores, Scrubs

0-for-4