Bears dealt walk off Treatment

Three BAD ASSes wear horsehide in dramatic series kickoff

SANTA CLARA, 3/2/08: A week after BAD ASS Baseball was rained out---the 2nd straight year that the 4th Sunday of the season was washed away---a whopping 23 BAD ASSes (21 to play) made the voyage out to Goodson Field to open the long-anticipated debuts of Kevin Kuzmiak and Bryan Bush as series captains.

Neither team deserved to lose, and from an entertainment standpoint, nobody went home disappointed.

BLOWOUT? WIND YES, GAME NO

To complain about the strong winds and chill after the storms endured in February would be akin to complaining about the Warriors being "only" 14 games over .500---that said, the conditions were about the only item not measuring up in today's full-field affair. Scoring got underway for both clubs in inning #1, when the clubs exchanged 2-spots. In the bottom of the 3rd, a DaRosa triple and a 2-run bomb from Flores gave the Treats a 6-3 lead; Rob singled in 2 more in the 4th to up that lead to 8-3.

Finally, the Bears broke out in the 5th when Minor gave his best effort to become the latest BAB vet to break a seasons-long homer drought; Greg banged one off the fence and motored all the way around for an inside-the-parker instead! That fired up the Bears, who would bat around in the inning and score 4 more times---including a 2-run HR by Manning.

An inning later, Bush's squad took their first lead, thanks in part to a "heads-up" play from the skipper himself. Bryan drilled one to the gap in right and was gone. Treats 2B Cocoles cut off the relay and fired a seed to the plate that glanced off Bush's dome as he slid headfirst into the plate! Fortunately, the captain didn't even need to rub the spot. A few hitters later, after Trinh's third RBI single of the game, Manning stroked longball #2, and the Bears led 12-9.

But only briefly. In the bottom half, the Treats got back-to-back homers from Wagner---his first career---and Yanez (an inside-the-parker to RCF), not to mention a 2-run blast by DaRosa a few innings later to make it 14-12 in their favor.

Fast-forward to the bottom of the 8th, right after a Bears explosion for 8 including Cav's 3rd home run in the top half gave the Bears a 20-14 advantage. Flores and Simas---who'd combined to drive in 7 of 14 Treat runs---struck again, cutting the lead to 4 with back-to-back RBI doubles. Next, Kuzmiak broke his oh-for with a blast over the LF fence...by innings' end it was knotted at 20.

Top 9: A Bear 4-spot fueled by Chowdhury, Andraesen, Minor and Matsui RBI knocks could have been more, with 2 on and the hottest Bear, Manning, at the dish. However, all he managed here was an inning-ending lineout to 2B. Up came the Treats needing 4 to tie and 5 to go home. DaRosa doubled in the first two, then Kuzmiak washed away any trace of his bad start with the ultimate finish, sending one into orbit with two runners on to leave the Honey Bears walking.

"That's it--Tim's gonna be tired for the rest of the game." -- Simas, after RF Pyle unsuccessfully chased a foul pop in the 4th.

AWARDS

BAD ASSes of the Day went to Flores (on a home run "binge") Kuzmiak and Simas (a hard 6-for-6 and batting .903 at Game 1's end); the trio combined for 15 RBI.  Sharing the prize were Stauffer (who finished 5-for-5) and another player named below.

Yow's awesome robbery of Matsui in the 7th (preventing at least 2 runs) not to mention SS Bush's Edmonds-esque theft of a 1st-inning Lynas pop to shallow left earned the pair Gold Gloves. Pyle struggled at 1-for-6 and took the Small Penis.

"Kevin Holley should be co-BAD ASS of the Day for gettin' Andraesen hammered lastnight!" -- Cocoles, after Bears OF Andraesen's shaky pursuits of Yanez' ITPHR and Stauffer's double in the 6th. Kuzmiak listened and obliged.

MORE NOTES

• Holley was present but did not play, recovering from a foot injury. He was not drafted despite his eligibility and expressed availability to play later in the series, so after meeting with the captains, he was drafted to the Honey Bears. Skillz Davis was also present but will not play this series, in order to focus on stats.
• Bush was not the only BAD ASS to wear the baseball today---Chowdhury was plunked in the neck attempting to beat out an 8th-inning double play ball. Just before his clutch 9th-inning double, DaRosa grounded one off the ass of Yow, who'd made the questionable choice to lie in the grass with Lynas in shallow LF foul ground.
• Manning could have had a 4th homer, had his 1st-inning blast flown fair.
• Cocoles managed to foul one on a hop into the back of Pyle's truck across De La Cruz Blvd. in the 1st.
• Sacramento made his season debut and went 6-for-6, the first 5 to right field and the first two self-acclaimed "Poo-Poo Hits".
• Strong winds blew the Blue Monster apart twice, and separate efforts to reattach it weren't entirely successful.
• Lynas played in the frilly shirt (in exchange for a tribute video Flores made and posted on the Smackboard), but did not receive the magic past wearers have, finishing 1-for-5 and not approaching his high level of 3B defense.
• Minor recorded a PLK in the 6th, the only K of either variety in either game.
• Playing SS, sore-armed Kuzmiak wildly threw away a routine Bush grounder in the 3rd. He then took himself out of the defense for the duration at inning's end.
• The BAD ASS cash net was hung above the Blue Monster for the first time, but no one came seriously close to dropping one in.
• Absent from the Bears and Treats were the Brandons Ridley and Hamilton, respectively. Dave Del Real did not show and will be ineligible for the series.

Following the departures of Andraesen, Sacramento, Trinh, Pyle, Manning and Holley, BAB played an 8-on-8, 7-inning exhibition with rookies Wagner and Yanez as captains.

A DEER IN THE SPOTLIGHT

This low-scoring game was basically themed around league batting leader Simas' self-directed anger for not leaving after his 6-for-6 Game 1, and starting this game 0-for-3 and even grounding into a double play before finally getting a 7th-inning knock.

In the Monsters' 2nd, Yow turned heads by driving one off the top of the LCF fence that went for a triple---about as close as one could come to ending a 5-year homerless drought without actually doing it. He'd score to tie things at 1, but the Divers struck for 3 in the bottom half.

3rd-inning Solo homers by Matsui and yet another by the suddenly-slugging Flores cut the Monster deficit to 1---given right back on a Bush double in the bottom half.

By the 5th, the Divers led 8-3. Matsui roped another solo longball in that frame for the Monsters; an awesome running catch by Minor in CF robbed Kuzmiak of extra bases and restricted their scoring.

Down to 6 outs, the Monsters used up 3 in a row in the top of the 6th as their counterparts scratched across two insurance runs in the bottom of the 6th. Down 10-4, Matsui crushed his 3rd home run with a man on (as "Exhibition Whore" taunts echoed) to reduce the Diver lead, but Bernal popped out with 2 on to end the game.

AWARDS

DaRosa roped RBI singles in each of the first 3 innings en route to BAD ASS of the Day. Bush's DP on a speedy Simas and Minor's catch netted each a Gold Glove. Lynas went hitless for the Divers as did Kuzmiak and Wagner for the Monsters---a Small Penis trifecta.

MORE NOTES

• Homering just twice since the start of 2005, the surprising Flores now has 3 bombs in 2008. Davis warned him if he kept up the pace, he would start referring to him as "Rob Deer", ex-Brewers/Tigers slugger from yesteryear.
• Yanez earned a laugh from Davis by writing "Me" as batting 6th on the lineup sheet.
• The Monsters' Bernal heard a "pop" in his knee after driving home Yow in the 2nd and was pinch-run for, but stayed in the game.
• Divers' Chowdhury and Gonzalez each went 4-for-4 and combined to score 5 times. JD

* Players of the Week *

BAD ASS of the Day 

Kevin Kuzmiak, Treats (1)

3-run walkoff home run

Rob Flores, Treats (1)

4-for-6, HR, 6 RBI

Brian Simas, Treats (1)

 6-for-6, 5 runs

Joel Stauffer, Treats (1)

5-for-5, 4 runs

Ed DaRosa, Divers (2)

4-for-5, 4 RBI

Gold Glove

Leland Yow, Treats (1)

spectacular catch in CF

Bryan Bush, Bears/Divers (1/2)

miracle Willie Mays catch at SS/6-3 DP at SS

Greg Minor, Divers (2)

tough reaching catch in CF

Small Penis

Tim Pyle, Bears (1)

1-for-6

Kevin Kuzmiak, Monsters (2)

0-for-4

Dave Wagner, Monsters (2)

0-for-3

Greg Lynas, Divers (2)

0-for-4