Hu won? Huevos, That's Hu

Bush obtains third eyebrow

SANTA CLARA, 3/30/08: The first game of the third series of the 7th BAD ASS Baseball season showcased 22 BAD ASSes, including one playing his first 2008 game and eight others who blasted four-baggers en route to a combined 65-run affair---which topped the previous high of 60 set just last week. All right, enough numbers---time to find out exactly how the squads led by first-time captains Ruben Gonzalez and Kevin Holley fared.

THE STORY OF TITO'S LIFE

The Huevos were the first to get cookin' offensively on this partly cloudy afternoon; their cause was aided by a shaky Miscreant defense---which unfortunately for them would be today's theme. Bush doubled to lead off the game and took third when the relay throw to the infield got away, and lay untouched near the mound area for several seconds. He soon scored on a Simas grounder to SS when Trinh decided to go for the out at home rather than 1B. Yanez then drove in Simas and the Huevos led 2-zip. The Miscreants and Pyle soon knotted the score, but in the bottom of the 2nd Yanez---who seems to be improving weekly on both sides of the ball---cracked his first BAB outside-the-park HR, a 2-run job to RCF. That was part of a 7-run 2nd inning, after which the Huevos led 9-2.

Both squads heated up with the bats over the next two innings---during which Kuzmiak, DaRosa and Bernal homered for the Miscreants and Manning for the Huevos. Heading into the 5th, it was the Huevos holding the 18-11 advantage. It wouldn't be a game without a little, uh, "dispute", and it wouldn't be a dispute if Matsui was not involved somehow. Torance seems to find ways to generate argumentive mayhem, and today he pulled one out of his hat---almost literally.

The setup: One out, Pyle on 2nd, Minor on 1st. Bernal creams a sinking line drive to left field. Matsui dove forward and seemed to secure the ball at shoetop level (raising his mitt to emphasize such), at which point the runners froze. Suddenly, he reached to the ground for the ball---at least that's what the runners Pyle and Minor thought---and threw it in to Stauffer for a forceout of Minor at 2nd! With Pyle now hung up, Stauffer fired the ball to 3B Bush, but Pyle's movements distracted Bush and he ended up taking the throw flush above the eye!!! Momentarily dazed, Bush would be OK, which was fortunate since by then all attention was on Matsui, who had run in from the outfield to plead his case that he did indeed catch the ball!

After Matsui's claims to disbelieving Miscreants that it was his sunglasses he'd reached for (and a short but lively discussion), the play was ruled as a catch, and the runners returned---meaning Bush was left with stitchmarks on his face for absolutely nothing! Although ticked, the Miscreants still plated 6 runs to pull within one; after the Huevos were held scoreless in their half of the 5th, Holley's club seemed to be on their way. Seemed to be.

Over the next three frames, the Huevos would outscore the Miscreants 20-3 as Matsui blasted a 2-run homer in the 6th that DaRosa just missed securing as he went through the fence. Stauffer added a 5th-pitch, 2-strike RBI knock. Miscreants' infield D left a lot to be desired in the 7th, namely SS Cocoles whose strong right arm betrayed him twice during the long inning. By the time Simas' capped the attack with 2-run double to right center, Huevos led 35-17, then 38-20 going into the 9th. Flores gathered his teammates in the dugout and all but ordered them to not quit, while instructing them to have fun at the same time. The result---a 9-run inning that included a granny from Trinh, but not nearly enough to complete the miracle comeback.

"What else?" -- Chowdhury, after being retired in the 3rd and commenting that a new streak (presumably oh-fer) was underway, then being questioned about what type by the Miscreant dugout.

AWARDS AND HIGHLIGHTS

Matsui finished 6-for-7 with the homer and 5 RBI; he along with Yanez and Bush who combined for 8 doubles and 11 more RBI were awarded BAD ASSes of the Day. Matsui's grab earned him a Gold Glove, shared by teammates Bush and Del Real. No Small Penis was named.

Wagner hit his 3rd home run of '08 for the Huevos, while DaRosa cracked his 2nd of the game and 5th overall in the 8th for the Miscreants. A rested and good-feeling Manning, motivated by his low selection in the draft, ended up hitting for the cycle. In all, 9 balls were hit out of Goodson Field today. Cocoles finished 5-for-5 (aided by a bad 9th-inning throw) despite his defensive struggles. Yow's excellent running snag to steal extra bases from Chowdhury in the 2nd seemed Gold Glove worthy, but went unrecognized.

MORE NOTES

• Another scary moment took place during bottom of the 3rd warmups. As his Miscreant teammates did their thing, Kuzmiak---who sat out most of the game defensively due to a bad arm---made the mistake of standing near the far end of the visiting dugout, a hotbed for errant throws. Often on the giving end, this time Kuz received Cocoles' wild heave---directly in the groin! Kevin, who was NOT wearing a cup, hit the turf and writhed around for a few minutes as "concerned" BAD ASSes instructed Davis and Stauffer to record his agony on camera. The only reason Kuzmiak was able to get up at all was that the ball caught more frank than beans, he explained later.
• As the late-arriving Cocoles walked up De La Cruz Blvd. in the bottom of the 1st, a foul ball was hit directly to him somehow. He was unable to make the barehand play.
• Much to the consternation of many, only 10 BAD ASSes were willing to play two---and two of those were unwilling to play a 5-on-5. Meaning that in spite of a 22-man-turnout, a doubleheader was not played, setting BAB behind one game from last year's pace.
• The only drafted absentees were Huevos Greg Sacramento and Greg Lynas, the latter of whom is expected to miss the entire series. JD

"Let's get a curtsy!" -- Matsui, after Kuzmiak finally rose to the ground following his ball-in-the-groin agony.

* Players of the Week *

Torance Matsui, Huevos

6-for-7, HR, 6 RBI

Bryan Bush, Huevos

6-for-8, 5 RBI, 5 runs

Norberto Yanez, Huevos

5-for-7, 1st career HR, 6 RBI

Torance Matsui, Huevos

diving catch in 5th

Bryan Bush, Huevos

Dave Del Real, Huevos